Mad Men has its period! (BIG OL’ SPOILERS YO)

Before this season of Mad Men even began, word had gotten around that someone was going to die by suicide. So, with only two episodes left, you knew it had to happen soon.

Ever since “Signal 30,” people have been predicting it’s going to be Pete Campbell. No matter how good the guy has it, he’s never satisfied and always thinks what other people have is better. Little tiny hints have even been dropped in the show that Pete’s depression might eventually consume him.

However, I’ve been fairly confident that’s not going to happen. While I’m not going to argue it would be a major bomb to drop that would make the type of impact we may expect or hope from the series, I just felt like those suicide arrows were pointing in another direction. (Not to mention that as much as I despise Pete, I love watching him on this show. I love how damaged and terrible he is, and I’d hate to lose the opportunity to see how low this weasel can go. I’d be sad if he died.)

Meanwhile, Lane Pryce has been downward spiraling all season. First, he engages Pete in fisticuffs at the office. Then he makes a rejected pass at Joan. Then he faces financial ruin, that will not only make him feel like a failure, but cause him to go back to Britain with his tail between his legs. In a desperate attempt to postpone the inevitable, he forges a check … and of course that was bound to bite him in the ass. Ordinarily, I don’t think I would have automatically figured suicide for him, but because of the suicide rumors, I was pretty sure he was the obvious choice.

Let’s talk about Betty’s tumor!

Okay, I hope that if you’re reading this, it means you’ve watched the latest episode of Mad Men, or at least are not concerned about spoilers.

On April 1, we learned that Don’s ex-wife, Betty Francis, has a tumor on her thyroid. This is after she goes into the doctor to get a prescription for diet pills, as she’s gained quite a bit of weight since we saw her last season. She says nothing she does has worked to help her lose weight, which made me wonder how much she’s actually tried. I’ve never seen Betty do much physical activity, except horseback riding, and don’t even know if dieting is a possibility for her considering how little she seemed to eat to begin with.

Anyhow, the doctor says he has to examine her first before he can prescribe her any pills and finds some kind of growth on her thyroid gland which may be cancerous. Yet, at no time during the show or follow-up articles/reviews of the episode does anybody appear to draw the connection between weight gain and thyroid problems.  Instead, when Betty finds out that the tumor is benign, she complains that she’s been put through the ringer only to find out she’s “just fat.” Then at the end of the episode, she finishes her own dish of ice cream and then starts on her daughter’s leftover ice cream. She’s just an eatin’ machine!

It can’t be a coincidence that the show put Betty’s tumor on her thyroid. Depending on how long it’s been there, it could also explain her horrible attitude and general dismal outlook on life, not to mention the distance she keeps from those around her. Because when you go to a doctor to be treated for depression, one of the first things they do is test your thyroid. Because treating a person’s thyroid problem is a much more permanent fix for depression than giving them pills to regulate their dopamine and such for the long term.

Hey, I know something that could cause a thyroid problem: A tumor ON a thyroid! No crap, right? Like, hey, even if it’s benign, that’s no reason to just forget about it and move on. There’s no indication made that she plans to have it removed. Also no indication made that she’s been informed the tumor could have caused her weight gain. And yet those two things could most certainly be directly related, and the people who wrote that into the show surely are aware of it. So what the heck? Why isn’t this being addressed? Why does she find out the tumor’s benign and consider that the end of the issue? Why am I the only person who’s even mentioned the correlation between depression, weight gain and disruption in the thyroid? Is it because it’s just so obvious? Because IT IS SO OBVIOUS.

Get that thing removed, Betty! It could be the answer to a lot more problems than you realize.

What are they going to do with Tate now? I hope it’s something naked.

I’m glad to find out that Evan Peters is only five years younger than me because I don’t have to feel too creepy about the fact that I have a crush on Tate from “American Horror Story.”

Yes, he is the mass-murdering, rapey, Antichrist-fathering ghost in the FX series that, despite everything, won our hearts this season. At the beginning of December, I was almost ready to give up on the show because it was sort of boring the crap out of me. “American Horror Story” promised me crazy shit, and that wasn’t happening much, and I still can’t figure out why the Moira ghost, in her natural state, is an old lady even though she died as a young lady. All the other ghosts look like their normal selves. This still bugs me, actually. But then all the crazy shit went down in the season’s final three episodes and I was back. Besides, for as much as the show had been bringing me down, there was no denying that I would follow my darling Tate anywhere, no matter how much the show was threatening to suck.

Yes, Tate, yes I do!

Well, now as you’ve all heard, the next season is going to take place in a completely different building with a brand new horror story to get immersed in. Which is okay I think because I imagine the supernatural clusterfuck at the Harmon house would have become too convoluted to care about much longer. And the best thing is that some cast members from the first season will return in the next one as new characters! Which means Evan Peters could potentially come back to be all dreamy on my TV screen again (if he doesn’t, I swear I will boycott). Maybe he even won’t be evil this time! Then I won’t feel so bad about forgiving all his shitty behavior with one glance at that adorable moptopped face.

Shhhhh, don't cry. I've already forgotten about that time you set Larry on fire.

Thoughts and spoilers on ‘The Walking Dead’s’ second season

So everyone just seems to be going completely nuts over last night’s episode of “The Walking Dead.” I watched the entire first season on Netflix before the second season began, and enjoyed some of it. I loved how the series opened with so much uncertainty and suspense. I didn’t like how the characters weren’t very sympathetic. It’s so hard to warm up to and care about the fates of people who you don’t really connect with at all. There were a lot of zombie survivor cliches, and very few surprises. Ultimately, the only characters I really found myself liking were Glenn The Asian Pizza Delivery Guy and Dale The Father Figure Old Dude. And it’s hard to say if that’s because the show does a good job of developing those characters and making them likeable or if it’s just because I see Glenn as the only bangable male in the group and Dale as the sweet old man who’s just too nice to die.

When season two began, I watched the first couple of episodes, hoping it would bring back some of the intensity from the start of the first season. It didn’t. I mean, some serious things happened, like the little boy getting shot in the stomach and that one lady’s daughter running off to get lost in the zombie woods and the group finding another group of survivors on a quaint little farm. But by that point, I’d already become less invested in it because I still didn’t really give a shit about most of the characters, and the scary zombie situations were infrequent and bland. So I didn’t set my Sunday nights aside for it, and have missed most of it since.

Being in the West Coast time zone, I saw some reactions on Twitter before the mid-season finale aired in my area.

“omgomgomgomg…just saw tonight’s @WalkingDead_AMC…so amazing.” – Chris Hardwick

“Oh Christ, I just watched last night’s WALKING DEAD. Oh my God. OH MY FUCKING GOD. #holyshit“ – Patton Oswalt (This one was from this morning, but still this is basically the reaction everyone was having last night.)